The feedback from my script was very helpful, it showed me what i needed to improve on and what went well, The most rewarding bit was when Simon told me that my story was very moving and well written, he said he enjoyed reading it and i have a bit of a talent. I felt very happy.
the feedback i received was that my story was very simple and effective, with most of the structure done but i needed to bring the climax of the story forward to the middle (around page 5) then the montage after, which is what i did on the second draft, the script starts of simple and happy while they are friends, then the moment the other boys get involved, then the moment Johnny knows he was wrong and tries to say sorry by giving him the ball, then when Sam scores the goal, creating an emotional grinder, there was a few technical corrections i needed to do like, describe more of the scene, so instead of me just saying park, included the weather, and the setting more which creates the sense of realism in the script. I also needed to put the action bits in capitals like 'SMACKS' it brings my scrip more alive, I had a a few spacing issues but the format came across pretty professional.
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